Mandy: college graduate, super-sinful unwed mother, narcissist, graphic artist by day, disillusioned writer by night, also super-sinful liberal, feminist (need I mention?); mixed bag, you know.

This is an Unsolicited Parenting Advice-Free Zone. I bitch; you listen; isn't that how blogging works?!

Drinks will not be served. But wouldn't it be awesome if they were?
Blissfully Unwed
Almost as good as Cheaters: undeniable evidence of my partner’s maaaybe-too-close bond with our “first baby,” Little Bear. Our trial run may have failed in the potty training department, but we are co-sleeping PROS. Obvs!

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Almost as good as Cheaters: undeniable evidence of my partner’s maaaybe-too-close bond with our “first baby,” Little Bear. Our trial run may have failed in the potty training department, but we are co-sleeping PROS. Obvs!

So, Curious George was all like, ooh, I want to explore the possibilities of holding this hairdryer myself!

OH NO I WAS SO WROOONG

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So, Curious George was all like, ooh, I want to explore the possibilities of holding this hairdryer myself!

OH NO I WAS SO WROOONG

So, B and I are watching More Business of Being Born on Netflix this afternoon, and we got about halfway into an episode and were both like, hell no; turn it off; turn it off RIGHT NOW; it’s jinxing us!

I mean, I gotta hand it to my back-to-back-ing sistas, but I just don’t see us going down that road again aaanytime soon, if ever. Like, you know that part in Forgetting Sarah Marshall where Paul Rudd asks Jason Segel if he would quit surfing after being bitten by a shark, and Jason Segel is like, well, since you mentioned it, uh, absofuckinlutely, and Paul Rudd is like, WTF is wrong with you?

Yeah, so, B and I are pretty much Jason Segel. Everybody else is like, “Get back on that horse!” And we’re like, “The same horse that made everything we did twice as hard for 9 months and cost us a shitload of money and resulted in the production of a helpless creature requiring such tireless devotion that it made gigapets look low-maintenance? Yeah… no.”

So, B and I are watching The Change-Up, and it’s the part where Jason Bateman proliferates the Men Make Hilarious and Adorably Inept Caretakers trope by attempting to change his twins’ diapers, and I’m like, hey, wouldn’t it have sucked if we had twins? And he pretty much ignores me because Leslie Mann’s right boob is exposed, but I’m thinking that, you know, actually, it probably wouldn’t suck for him, because, even though all childcare duties are multiplied by 2 when you have twins, 0 x 0 is still 0.